Step right up! Step right up!

Alright, my juicy chums, my nicotinous fiends and drunken bums. Jack Flash here. Aye, we've taken over Duncan's blog, Puck and meself, a boy and his wild dog; and just because today's the fuckin day, because the book is OUT now finally across the fuckin US fuckin A, we thought, meself and Puck, we'd give you something a bit special.

Other than yourself, you mean, Jack?

Huh? Oh... "a bit special." Very funny, Puck, my well-plucked petal. Whaddaya say we give em, Puck? Some verbal fireworks or a mental fuck? Destruction? Recreation?

No! I say, my saucy Jack, we offer them a show. Let's give em music, song and dance. Let's give them Jack and Puck, the tragedy, the comedy, the romance.

Sounds good to me. That Duncan's always had a soft spot for his musicals.

Well, he is queer.

Well, then. Let's give him one.

Hey kids! Let's hold the gig right here!

OK, then. Me and you--

And we'll need Guy as well, and Joey too. We'll need a couple more, only a few, but -- actually -- we will need you-know-who.

Fuck, well at least he'll be in his disguise -- the bowler hat, the pennies on his eyes. But fuck it. Right. No more ado. Now, introduced by yours so very truly, Jack--

And Puck, remember--

How could I forget my favourite scrag? We give you--

Wait! Let's clear the stage and bring the curtain down. OK then: now.

We give you Duncan's punk-ass musical, the one and only...

NOWHERE TOWN