Notes from New Sodom

... rantings, ravings and ramblings of strange fiction writer, THE.... Sodomite Hal Duncan!!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Fuckin A!

Oi, scrag!

...

Oi, Puck!

...

OI! PUCK!

mmnnaafuuzzaawhhaa? What the fuck are you shouting about now, Jackass? I was having a really nice dream. We were in Amsterdam and we'd found this really good cafe, and we had cake, and then there were these parakeets in Vondelpark, and--

Shut up and look at this. We made the fuckin Locus shortlist. People actually voted for us.

COOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack, Puck, it's three in the morning. What have I told you about late-night over-use of exclamation marks?

But, Guy, he's right! Look! People voted for us! For me and Jack!

Actually, I rather think you'll find that they voted for Hal's book.

Aye, right. You think they voted for the plot? The fuckin world-building? Guy, the dude can't keep to the same place and timeline for more than a fuckin page. Fuckin character, mate; that's what they voted for.

Yeah. What he said. Like they'd vote for Hal's book if it didn't have me in it. As if!

I was talking about me, toe-rag.

You? You're hardly in it till the second half--

Where all the explosions are. Nuff said.

I'm the one that matters. I have Thematic Centrality.

Big words for a little knob.

Enough already. You're both important characters without whom the novel's core narrative couldn't function. You should both feel very proud. Now if you'd both kindly stop littering Hal's blog with this... look, anyway, aren't you meant to be in the story he's working on right now. Don't you have somewhere else to be?

We're between scenes. We got time off for bad behaviour. Hey, Jack. Do you think we'll get fans now? Do you think we'll get slash fanfic? We could shag like bunnies all across the internet. We could run a competition for the best Jack / Puck illustration.

Oh, Christ. As if the world doesn't have enough Harry / Draco.

They're not even gay. We'd be much better at it than them. Least we know what it actually feels like to have a cock u-

Please! For the love of God, Puck. Just... go back to sleep.

OK, OK.

...

Psst, Jack.

What?

You know, we could set up a Yaoi LiveJournal while you-know-who's not watching.

And I thought I was the bad influence.

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