The Two-Timer's Waltz
[BOLLOX and PUCKANELLO lie post-coitus.]
My lord and sugar daddy dear,
O royal master of my rear,
Permission to speak freely here?
Go on, you know you have my ear.
The last time you were in that tomb
The jaws of Fuckadilla's womb,
You said her juices didn't flow?
And what of that?
I told you so.
[PUCKANELLO holds his hands up as BOLLOX frowns. The music begins, a waltz. Think "A Little Priest" from Sweeney Todd.]
Now don't be irate. I've a tale to relate.
Puckanello, tell! Puckanello, tell!
It's no wonder her cunt is a fucking affront.
Talk about a smell! Talk about a smell!
What it is, my lord, to be blunt,
Is that Peen's seen too much of her cunt.
They go at it
Worse than rabbits
Even during her time of the month!
The Two-Timer's Waltz? Is this true, is it false?
Puckanello lie? Never I!
So your motives are pure. Are you totally sure?
Puckanello saw! Dropped his jaw!
Saw the traitor there in her bed,
Wiping menstrual blood from his lead.
With his shirt he
Hid the dirty,
But his hard-on was dyed bloody red.
So he wanted to splurge? It's a natural urge.
Where's the hurt in a little spurt?
He's infringing the right of his king every night
Didn't even ask! Talk about some brass!
It's a little prick sneaking thence
To prepare her for the immense.
Crimes like this?
Piece of piss!
His arse can pay for prick's offence.
Ropy seed I shall spill and his fundament fill.
Puckanello, come! Puckanello, come!
My pintle gets hotter, so I think oughta
Take turns with the two of you,
Bugger you black and blue
Do, Puckanello, what I do best!
Let's find Peen and get him undressed!