Can't. Stop.
Dear world,
Further to yesterday's blog post re my mate sending me a link to The Farce of Sodom in an email exhorting me to do something with it -- like, a musical or summat -- I find myself compelled to request that heretofore you refrain from putting ideas like that in my head.
No, really. This is wrong. So so wrong. Seriously, my only defense is that all the wrongness is totally there in the original, honest, or most of it is, at least, and it's not as wrong as Delany's Equinox, and... and... oh, I give up. See below for more updated antiquated filth.
Hugz and kittehs,
Hal
[Enter PRICKETT and SWIVIA, Prince and Princess of Sodom. SWIVIA begins the song slow and tender, lilting:]
SWIVIA:
Twelve months to wait before you have the years
To fuck as Puckenello does, my dear.
I know the path to fifteen seems a stee-eep in-cline...
PRICKETT:
You know I would have dipped my prick at nine!
[Music goes into its proper tempo now. Think "What's This?" from Nightmare Before Christmas.]
My prick! My prick! I want to dip my wick!
We're here alone. I'll show you how it's grown.
You show me yours and I will show you mine.
Remember how I showed you it at nine?
SWIVIA:
Your dick! Your dick! So tell me, is it slick?
With sweat, my pet? Cause I'm a little wet.
I'll shut the door, and let you have your wish.
Just don't be telling me I smell of fish.
[Cut into a slower waltz tempo:]
PRICKET
Oh, a sister's a most obliging friend, an obliging friend indeed!
SWIVIA
And a brother's a joy I recommend, cause he's always a friend in need!
[Swivia pushes Pricket to his knees in front of her, whips her skirt off. He gapes.]
PRICKETT:
How queer! How weird! It's got a little beard!
A mouth, a maw, with lips a liitle raw!
The strangest creature that I ever saw.
Are these the monsters men admire in awe?
SWIVIA:
This twat, you brat, our mother tells me that
She spat a sprat; it's how you were begat.
Our father straddled mother's open lap
And with his cock he filled her full of--
PRICKETT:
Crap!
SWIVIA:
Come here, draw near, there's nothing to be feared.
You'll sigh, you'll cry, you'll absolutely die!
--but the pleasing teasing death you get from cunts,
It'll tickle you alive again at once!
[They waltz, with fondling and frottage.]
Oh, a cunt is a most obliging friend, it's your oldest friend indeed.
Since men had the goods to trade or spend, it's been making them spend their seed.
SWIVIA
Your prick, so thick! Your heart is beating quick!
You burn, you yearn! There's bliss you want to learn!
PRICKETT:
My heart incites within me a desire,
My blood is burning—
SWIVIA:
Let me soothe the fire.
PRICKETT:
Oh my! Oh me! Oh this is agony!
SWIVIA:
(yanking his trousers down)
Then set it free! Now this is lechery.
Now lie on me, and bring your rascal here--
A little higher -- oh, you're getting near!
PRICKET
Oh, a sister's a most obliging friend, an obliging friend indeed!
SWIVIA
And a brother's a joy I recommend, cause he's always a friend in need!
PRICKETT:
It's strange! The change! The way things are arranged!
Your parts! Some charts! I need to learn these arts!
Please lead it where it's never been before.
SWIVIA:
My brother dear, it's opening the door.
PRICKETT:
I'm in! Within! The softness on my skin!
SWIVIA:
Then thrust your lust. The in-and-out's a must.
PRICKET
So sing it, sister, as my soul departs.
SWIVIA:
I'd sing it if hadn't pierced my heart.
PRICKET
Oh, a cunt is a most obliging friend, an obliging friend indeed!
What is this? Is it bliss? Is it my wit's end?
SWIVIA:
Is it not just a joy you would recommend?
PRICKETT:
Yes, a cunt is a most obliging friend,
And a minute's more time than I can spend
Oh! Oh! OH!
Now I'm spent, I'm done, I'm dead!
SWIVIA
And a cock is a joy I recommend, which is my legs are spread!
[Slow to finish.]
Oh, brother, I live at the fucking you give.
And your death would turn pleasure to pain.
So kiss me and live...
Again!
[Song ends]
Further to yesterday's blog post re my mate sending me a link to The Farce of Sodom in an email exhorting me to do something with it -- like, a musical or summat -- I find myself compelled to request that heretofore you refrain from putting ideas like that in my head.
No, really. This is wrong. So so wrong. Seriously, my only defense is that all the wrongness is totally there in the original, honest, or most of it is, at least, and it's not as wrong as Delany's Equinox, and... and... oh, I give up. See below for more updated antiquated filth.
Hugz and kittehs,
Hal
*
"A Cunt is a Most Obliging Friend"
"A Cunt is a Most Obliging Friend"
[Enter PRICKETT and SWIVIA, Prince and Princess of Sodom. SWIVIA begins the song slow and tender, lilting:]
SWIVIA:
Twelve months to wait before you have the years
To fuck as Puckenello does, my dear.
I know the path to fifteen seems a stee-eep in-cline...
PRICKETT:
You know I would have dipped my prick at nine!
[Music goes into its proper tempo now. Think "What's This?" from Nightmare Before Christmas.]
My prick! My prick! I want to dip my wick!
We're here alone. I'll show you how it's grown.
You show me yours and I will show you mine.
Remember how I showed you it at nine?
SWIVIA:
Your dick! Your dick! So tell me, is it slick?
With sweat, my pet? Cause I'm a little wet.
I'll shut the door, and let you have your wish.
Just don't be telling me I smell of fish.
[Cut into a slower waltz tempo:]
PRICKET
Oh, a sister's a most obliging friend, an obliging friend indeed!
SWIVIA
And a brother's a joy I recommend, cause he's always a friend in need!
[Swivia pushes Pricket to his knees in front of her, whips her skirt off. He gapes.]
PRICKETT:
How queer! How weird! It's got a little beard!
A mouth, a maw, with lips a liitle raw!
The strangest creature that I ever saw.
Are these the monsters men admire in awe?
SWIVIA:
This twat, you brat, our mother tells me that
She spat a sprat; it's how you were begat.
Our father straddled mother's open lap
And with his cock he filled her full of--
PRICKETT:
Crap!
SWIVIA:
Come here, draw near, there's nothing to be feared.
You'll sigh, you'll cry, you'll absolutely die!
--but the pleasing teasing death you get from cunts,
It'll tickle you alive again at once!
[They waltz, with fondling and frottage.]
Oh, a cunt is a most obliging friend, it's your oldest friend indeed.
Since men had the goods to trade or spend, it's been making them spend their seed.
SWIVIA
Your prick, so thick! Your heart is beating quick!
You burn, you yearn! There's bliss you want to learn!
PRICKETT:
My heart incites within me a desire,
My blood is burning—
SWIVIA:
Let me soothe the fire.
PRICKETT:
Oh my! Oh me! Oh this is agony!
SWIVIA:
(yanking his trousers down)
Then set it free! Now this is lechery.
Now lie on me, and bring your rascal here--
A little higher -- oh, you're getting near!
PRICKET
Oh, a sister's a most obliging friend, an obliging friend indeed!
SWIVIA
And a brother's a joy I recommend, cause he's always a friend in need!
PRICKETT:
It's strange! The change! The way things are arranged!
Your parts! Some charts! I need to learn these arts!
Please lead it where it's never been before.
SWIVIA:
My brother dear, it's opening the door.
PRICKETT:
I'm in! Within! The softness on my skin!
SWIVIA:
Then thrust your lust. The in-and-out's a must.
PRICKET
So sing it, sister, as my soul departs.
SWIVIA:
I'd sing it if hadn't pierced my heart.
PRICKET
Oh, a cunt is a most obliging friend, an obliging friend indeed!
What is this? Is it bliss? Is it my wit's end?
SWIVIA:
Is it not just a joy you would recommend?
PRICKETT:
Yes, a cunt is a most obliging friend,
And a minute's more time than I can spend
Oh! Oh! OH!
Now I'm spent, I'm done, I'm dead!
SWIVIA
And a cock is a joy I recommend, which is my legs are spread!
[Slow to finish.]
Oh, brother, I live at the fucking you give.
And your death would turn pleasure to pain.
So kiss me and live...
Again!
[Song ends]
Labels: Sodom! The Musical
posted by Hal Duncan | 1:38 am
1 Comments:
Haha. I love it.
//JJ
Post a Comment
<< Home