Crayons or felt tip pens, d'ya think?
Saturday 1:00pm Kaffeeklatsch
Kathleen Ann Goonan
Why I signed up for a kaffeeklatsch I'm not exactly sure. I mean, given that my first novel is only released on the Friday, it's not like there's gonna be hordes of fans queuing up to meet me. I just ticked all the boxes, basically, in the participant questionnaire. Readings, panels, kaffeeklatsches, why sure, I'll do 'em. Hal Duncan, media slut.
Saturday 2:00pm The Greatest Queer SF (1.5 hrs)
Description: "What are the best queer works of science fiction? A celebration of queer themes, queer characters and queer authors in the sf genre."
I suspect my contribution to this might amount to "Samuel R. Delany is a goddamn motherfuckin genius. Oh, and so was William Burroughs." At great length and with great enthusiasm.
Saturday 6:00pm It's Sort of Fantastic, and I Like It But (the Growth of the Slipstream).
Description: "Our panelists look at the fiction that slips between traditional genre boundaries, and ask why this kind of fiction appeals to sf readers despite the frequent absence of anything "obviously" fantastical."
Ah, yes. They put me on a "slipstream" panel. Lock and load, daddio. We got us some infernokrushing to be done.
Monday 10:00am Scottish Imaginative Writing
AKA: The "Why You Should Buy The Nova Scotia Anthology" Panel.
Although, can I just say… ten o'clock? Ten o'fucking clock?! Are they fucking crazy?! Me on a panel at fucking ten o'fucking clock in the fucking morning?! They're gonna have to have a fucking Irn Bru intra-venous drip set up for me, cause at that time in the morning it's gonna look like a goddamn 1970's Hammer House of Horror movie -- Duncan Has Risen From The Grave. I can see things going a little like this:
Andrew: … to what extent the Celtic Twilight influences modern Scottish fantasy? Hal?
Me: IT'S FUCKING TEN O'FUCKING CLOCK!
Monday 12:00 noon Reading (0.5 hrs)
Hmm. After five days of hard drinking and chain smoking, expect a remarkably accurate imitation of Tom Waits.