Um No
Memo to all students:
Sorry, kids, but for unavoidable personal reasons I was distracted when marking your papers, so I only really checked 50 out of the 100 questions. Some of you did pretty well though (I guess.) At least one of you got 45 of those 50 right, so if we made allowances for my failure to pay attention, that would probably be, like, 90% -- 4.5 stars out of 5. (Well done, Hannu!)
But, well, I can't really say for sure that this student deserves 90%, can I? I mean, I only marked 50 questions. Look, it was just... I had some personal shit going on that day. And ultimately I can only mark you on what I actually check. I'm not marking the paper itself, yanno, so much as... my experience of it.
Anyways, the point is, going by that experience, in all honesty I can only vouch for those 45 questions out of 100 in that student's case (sorry, Hannu.) So I'm just going to give them the 2.25 stars out of 5 which follows from that... rounded down to 2, of course. Don't worry though! I'm going to score the rest of you in the exact same way, 'kay?
If it makes it any better, you do have my sincere apologies and open admission that the only reason your scores are so low is that I didn't mark the papers properly, sorry. That's OK then, right? We're cool, yeah!
Hugs and kittens,
Mr Teacher
ps. Those personal problems look like they're going to put the kibosh on marking papers AT ALL next term. So if you all get 0 stars out of 5 on every test next term, again don't worry; that just means I didn't even bother looking at them. Hey, I told you; it's my experience of the paper's I'm marking.
pps. Come to think of it, I could just give you all 0 out of 5 for all those papers right now. You'd be fine with that, right?
4 Comments:
God but I wish you'd have marked some of my essays, Hal. Couple of semesters there, I'd have taken a 2/5 and been alright with it.
Alas!
Dear Student:
Your cross-disciplinary term paper received an A from your English teacher, your Social Studies teacher and your P.E. teacher. Unfortunately, when I read your paper, the science references were factually incorrect or illogical or irrelevant. It's really impossible to say that the paper was a good science paper at all, so I'm giving it a C. But maybe I was just really tired when I read it.
Your Science Teacher
DeNardo's review was silly.
S:?
That was a mean review of a lazy review. I love it, speaking from my experience of it which was mostly attentive. But I'm only giving it a 2/5 because you scare me and besides, red print is difficult to read.
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